shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
