In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
