I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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