Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
