We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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