I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
