that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
