can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
