At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
