Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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