before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
