Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
