look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
