These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
