Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
