She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
