Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
