if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My feet surprised me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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