I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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