Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
