I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
