batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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