He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Damn victory sex feels great
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
