Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
