It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
