Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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