Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
