if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
