He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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