Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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