Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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