i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
