I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
