you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
