I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
