forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
