No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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