I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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