i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
