Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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