I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
