so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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