I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
