I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
