She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
