butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
