apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
