he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
