yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you traded sex for a burrito?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
