I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
